The Monster Inside Me: A Story On How To Conquer The Fear

What is depression? Depression is an illness that negatively affects how you feel. It somehow makes you feel sad, alone and no longer enjoying the usual things that make you happy before. You are no longer interested in things that make your life meaningful. Fortunately, it somehow can be treated.

Signs that you are having a depression:

  • Feeling of sadness
  • No longer interested in things that you enjoyed
  • Difficulty in sleeping or vice versa
  • Fatigue
  • Feels alone and worthless
  • Difficulty to focus on something
  • Suicidal attempt

(Source: Psychiatry.org)

My Journey to motherhood is just the same as others. I have an app on my phone to simply monitor my menstruation flow. I have a  partner since 2009. He’s been my childhood sweetheart since elementary. The day finally came when I finally confirmed that I am pregnant, it was a  happy day. We immediately planned the name of our child depending on gender. But the sad story began when I lost my job, I was then a hotel supervisor. Moreover, I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes and as a result, I had a really hard time during my pregnancy. I lost weight, bedridden, extreme morning sickness, and insomnia. So I asked myself how can I conquer all of these? It is a blessing that I am surrounded by people who understood my situation. My partner and family supported me all the way. But this is just the beginning of everything until I finally gave birth.

On September 10, 2017, my son was born. It was gloomy weather but for us its the best day of our lives to finally meet our bundle of joy. During the first trimester of being a mother, my depression started to get worse. The fact that I lost my job and It was my first time being a mother. Overthinking leads to worsening everything. I breastfed my child from the first day until he turned 2 years old. I had my dilemma on how I would handle every single problem that occurred.

I started talking to my self, I needed to do something about it. I started reading articles about motherhood, childbirth, and happy stories.  By then, I gradually discovered that I can and I will go back to my old self. So I decided to start exercising, ate healthy food, and associated again my self with my friends.

Since I stayed home, I started doing my passion for selling and planning events such as my son’s birthday party. I surrounded my self with everything that makes my old self back. Decorations, planning, ideas, and managing in such ways I know I’m enjoying.

The Success of my selling abilities is one of the key reasons how I motivated my self to start again and to rebuild my self. Today, I decided to enter a new world, a world I know I will improve, learn, and showcase my skills. I finally found my space, the Virtual World. I will do my very best to succeed in this field I chose.

“Drop your worries, focus on your goals and do your best”

By Vhey Salera

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