By: Katherine May Cayubit
Ever felt lost? Like you don’t know where to start?
I know I did, and here are some tips I can share with you on how was I able to get back on my feet again.
- Your child is your utmost priority
- You matter as well
- Don’t be scared to ask and receive help
- Set your goal
- It’s time to start over again
Disbelief. I was in that state for quite sometime last year, 2019. It was chaos, it took me awhile to finally let it sink in that I will be doing this “parenting” alone. I don’t know where and how to start, but one thing remained sane to me, “I have a son who depends ONLY to me”. When you’re experiencing a life-changing event, it is very easy to get overwhelmed about everything, that’s why you have to take a minute or two to gather your thoughts and make a plan. And lo behold! With God’s grace and my loved ones support, I am slowly getting out of that sink hole. And now, join me as I start anew, learn, laugh and criticize myself for my mistakes, and finally succeed!
This doesn’t just happen overnight, it’s the truth and a hard pill to swallow. You have to be brave to feel everything, the sadness, pain, guilt, anxiety, until it reaches your soul, your core. Only then, reality will hit you and you will realize that your life is not just yours to live, but your child as well.
Your child is your utmost priority
He needs you now more than ever, and you have to be there. They said that it’s tough being a single parent, and now you are going to experience it first-hand. You have to make it a point to be able to give him the love and attention that he needs, discipline and guide him, and most of all, support him financially.
You matter as well
Self-care is a must. Like they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup, that’s why you must NEVER forget about yourself. It doesn’t have to be luxurious, a simple bath (longer one), enjoying a cup of coffee (and finishing it LOL!), reading a book, watching your favorite K-Drama, whichever makes you feel you again. Because only then, you can give when you don’t feel drained.
Don’t be scared to ask and receive help
Even if we are empowered by the thought that we as a “Mother” can do anything and everything for our child, it is not something to be ashamed of when you admit it that you need help sometimes. There are a lot of people willing to lend a hand, may it be a small or a grand gesture, you just have to be open to changes because like what they say “It takes a village to raise a child”, but fret not because you will always have the last say in everything, you’re the mother after all.
Set your goal
No matter what the reason behind you being a single parent, you have to set it aside and look on the bright side. Make a list and identify your goals, do it one step at a time and most important of all, trust yourself.
It’s time to start over again
Embrace the new you, be wiser and stronger now that you have no one to rely on, especially financially, you have to make a decision to finally find a job to meet your goals and be able to provide and give the best life possible to your child. This is the time to find yourself again and work on a better and stronger version of you. Do not be afraid, always remember that your child is your greatest motivation, just one hug or smile from him will give you an instant boost.
There will be a lot of times that you will feel that you are not enough,and that you will blame yourself for everything that life is throwing at you, but always bear in mind that in the eyes of your child, you are perfect. Don’t think that just because of one failed relationship, you and your child’s life is already ruined, there’s a new path waiting for you. Walk hand in hand with your child, and grab hold of the brighter future waiting for you guys. Keep dreaming.