The Journey of a Powerful Single mom

A single mom’s parenting duties are no different than they are for a married one except you’re alone. Raising a child alone is stressful, exhausting, but it is the best challenging job that a parent could be proud of. Some single parents have no other parents or friends to act as a buffer-someone to take care of the kids for a few hours, share discipline, or talk to a difficult situation. Parenting is hard work, especially if you are a single mother. 

I’m a single mother of an 11 years old boy, raising him alone is not easy. I struggle many times in my life, but I never get tired. Because I know my son needs me, I have to be strong to give him a better life.

Break up

 I decided to break up with my ex-husband, five years ago and my son is only six years old at that time. I don’t have a stable job yet so probably his father’s financial support is our only source of income. Until his father failed to send money to us, and I asked for some help from the government. The PAO ( Public Attorneys Office ) advised me to file a lawsuit against my ex-husband for my son’s legal custody and financial support.

Legal custody and financial support

Consequently, I find myself in the courtroom handling this situation fighting for the custody of my son. Court proceedings for these issues can occur across the span of months and even years. Until we end up in the situation that my ex-husband wants to negotiate and ask me to withdraw the lawsuit against him, and he promised to give monthly financial support for our son. For my son’s sake, I accepted his offer and I gave him permission to see my son once in a while. But unfortunately, in a couple of months he failed again to send money. At that time I decided to move on, I realized that I wasted my time with my ex-husband for the small amount of money, considering him an incapable father to my son.

Financial security

Living on a single income can be challenging for any family. Single mothers often face the additional challenge of being the primary parent and breadwinner of the household. Balancing home life and work life can be difficult and stressful for single moms.

Fortunately, I’m always lucky to find a job to sustain our necessary needs, from food, house rent, and of course my son’s school expenses. I learned to multitask, from feeding my son, preparing for school, doing house chores before going to work. But I realized I need some help. So I hired someone to look for him while I’m not around, and of course, it’s another cost of money. But as a parent, I will do anything to give him the better life he deserves. I will not make him suffer for his parent’s mistake, “me and my ex-husband” would inspire him to choose the right person for him and to be a responsible person and parent to his children in the future.

Mother and child relationship

Mothers and their children are connected  even before birth. All those months spent together mark the beginning of a sometimes challenging, yet rewarding, relationship. I, as moms, have an important role in my child’s mental health because I provide the basic necessity (food, water, sleep, and shelter) and form a secure attachment while he’s growing up. Attachment is the emotional bond that develops between a child and a mother. Children who have healthy attachments with their mothers are more likely to form stable relationships later in life.

Forming an attachment with your children

Holding and hug them.

Providing a safe living environment.

Talking, laughing and playing with them.

Feeding them and eating with them at mealtimes, and learn to understand their unique way of expressing themselves.

A healthy child can’t be raised without a good parent. As a mother, you deserved to be respected and love yourself for all that you do. Don’t be afraid of being a single mom, if you feel tired, take a rest but don’t give up.   Keep going and focus on your goal, keep dreaming it’s free.

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