“Motherhood is amazing. And then it is really hard. And then it is incredible. And then it is everything in between. So, hold onto the good, breathe through the bad, and welcome the wildest and most wonderful ride of your life.”
PROUD HAPPY MAMA
“How do you do it?”
This is the question I heard countless times whenever I say I’m a mom of five kids. Believe me when I say that I have been asking myself the same question for years.
“You’re doing great!”
“You’re a natural!”
Now here are responses I get whenever I answer their question on how I take care of five kids. It seems that to most people, I’m the supermom. They think I can do everything, from changing the diapers, be a great wife, and still be a self-made woman. Most of the people I know think that I can do it all – flawlessly.
The truth is, I don’t.
I was overwhelmed too. I know you will agree that raising a child isn’t a walk in the park. What more if you have five, right? Add the fact that I continuously question myself if I’m doing things right.
“Should I go back to work? If I do, who will take care of the kids? Will I still have enough time for them?”
“Am I breastfeeding or not?”
“Am I feeding them healthy food?”
“Are they having too much screen time?”
I guess most of us have these questions for ourselves. I always do. I tend to doubt the things I do for my kids. I always feel that I am not enough. Now, why does it sound familiar? It’s because it’s called the mom-guilt. But do you know what I learned being a mom of five kids?
I learned that things will get better.
Things will be difficult at first. All those sleepless nights, those busy days that sometimes you forget to take a bath, the never-ending chores, and all those days that seemed to suck the life out of you? Believe me. It will get better.
How did I know? Because I finally understood that what works for others, might not work for me. I was trapped in this scenario wherein I desperately followed every advice that other moms told me because I was clueless about motherhood. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the advice other moms told me. What I forgot is a simple truth that not all experiences are the same.
So I started sifting the parenting advice that I received. I practiced those that will work for us. In other words, I’ve tailor fit my parenting style according to my kids’ personalities. Since every child is different, I made sure to try various approaches when it comes to motherhood. I studied my kids’ love languages and by doing that, I was able to properly express my love to them. Our communication got better and my kids were able to express themselves more.
I learned that failure is not a bad thing.
I already accepted that no mom ever truly has it all together. I’ve learned that being a parent means it’s okay to fail. But we must make sure that we are willing to learn and improve every time we fail too. I believe that it’s what makes us a good mother.
Of course, I learned that everything will get easier if we have God.
That’s the most important lesson I learned when I became a mother. I always pray to God to guide me every step of the way as I take the journey of motherhood. By doing so, I found renewed strength and wisdom to brave another day ahead. Most of all, praying silenced the mom-guilt in me. There will still be days when I can’t help but second-guess myself but now it’s easy to brush the thought away. Because putting God first in everything I do, gave me the confidence that He is with me in my journey as a mother. That I can do it.
We can’t deny that motherhood is never easy. It never has and will never be. But being a mother of five gave me a clearer vision of my journey to motherhood. That is to live one mothering day at a time.
“Kids don’t need a perfect mama. They need a happy one.”
PROUD HAPPY MAMA
Written by: Jay Anne Andaya