Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing and yet rewarding.
They say having a baby completes a woman’s life. This is supposed a mystery that only happens to women.
It wasn’t easy for me to have a baby right after my husband and I got married. It took me one year before I got pregnant. It was already the second month when I found out I was pregnant. And because it was my first pregnancy, I had a lot of stress, of course. In my third month, I suffered a miscarriage that I was very upset about. I can’t accept that my baby is gone. Fortunately my husband is always by my side. A year after I got pregnant again but I lost my baby again. What made me even sadder was that my Obstetrician said that I would have difficulty getting pregnant again because of two consecutive miscarriages. Because of what happened I was almost losing hope especially when I learned that we are in the race of not having children, the same thing happened to my aunt. It is hereditary the elders say.
That’s why my husband and I agreed not to pursue having a child and wait for the right time that God gives it to us. I continued working to divert my attention. Surprisingly after a year, I got pregnant again and it’s a miracle for me. I prayed hard for it and I asked God this time he would give it to us. I decided to stop working so I could take care of the baby that was still in my womb. I had a lot of fear and hardship at that time but I took courage and leave all my worries to God. I visit my Obstetrician regularly to make sure that me and baby are healthy.
When the day came that I was about to give birth my heat filled with fear. This is it I hope I can deliver him fine and safe. February 8, 2011, is the most anticipated and most enjoyable day of my life. Our bundle of joy came out. I felt so much happiness and fulfillment during those times even if I’m in pain because I undergo the CS procedure. I told myself “This is the miracle of God, I am completely a mother”.
Since it was my first time having a child many things have changed in my life. Because I wanted to make sure my child was well taken care of I decided not to go back to work anymore. Since then my world has turned to my family especially to my son. To each of his cries, I feel frustrated when I can’t stop him from crying. I want and make sure I give everything to him. I almost spoiled him but I make sure he is still disciplined. My husband and I often argue about discipline. He wants to always give what our child wants even its not necessary which I object to but we see to it that we’re on the same way of disciplining our son.
When my son turned four years old he will diagnose with severe anemia which possible lead to leukemia. My world is about to atomize, why my son? He undergoes medication since then. We did everything the doctor said. We almost buried in debt but we don’t care about that. All we want is him to heal.
Despite his condition I let him know and feel that he is fortunate after all, be thankful. I always want him to value things around him big or small. I always want him to be better in all he does. I want him to know that not everything he wants is available to him, be patient. All the good lessons I learned I taught him.
My son is nine years old now, in good health, thank you God , very clingy, loving, and respectful. At his young age he knows to value things around him, respect others, and most especially he knows and loves God.
My journey of motherhood is indeed not that easy, I struggle a lot bu I’m really proud of it. I love my scar and stretch mark, these always make me feel complete and proud of being a mother.
This is the journey that I will not exchange for anything. A journey that never had endings.