Are you curious about what’s going on in your toddler’s mind? Why they act the way they do? What were they thinking while they were doing those crazy things? Have you ever wonder what were you thinking while you were at their age?
Being a newbie mom with no experience with kids, I have constantly wonder what is going on inside my toddler’s mind. Heck, even if you are not a newbie, I’m sure you are still going to wonder what is going on inside their brain. Does knowing this even matter at all? The answer to that is yes, it matters! I will be explaining in this blog how the toddler’s mind works and how this can help you with your daily struggle in trying to understand them.
I’m no scientist, nor am I good at science. But one thing for sure is that there is bound to be an explanation of why kids do crazy things repeatedly. According to fatherly.com written by Patrick Sauer,
If you want to know more about how their mind works, ‘scientifically’, you can read more on fatherly.com. However, I will be discussing more on the mom’s perspective and how this can help you understand your little one.
A toddler’s mind is more complex than it is to an adult. Imagine not knowing anything at all, every single thing you now know, a child does not know yet. They are still learning the most basic things in life such as walking, running, speaking and even simple jumping, hopping and so much more. And they have only a few years to learn all of those! Right now as an adult, even if we are multitaskers, we can’t even learn the same amount of things that a child is learning within the first 5 years of our life. There are thousands of words they have to learn, thousands of actions they have to understand, thousands of things that are still new to them and yet the capacity of their brain can manage it.
It’s like learning a whole new language, gymnastic and thousands of books about life. Learning all of that all together while your bones are stretching, your teeth are erupting, you get hungry, you are feeling weird like itchy but painful and you don’t know how to describe it. Then suddenly your parents scold you for asking for help to understand those.
And as for an adult, the things we learn in life now are mostly additional knowledge and experiences. That is why older people are usually thought of as ‘wise’ ones. (Well, depending on their experiences and how much they have absorbed it.)
It is a constant struggle for me trying to understand my toddler’s movements and I have no time to research everything she does. I admit that I tend to ask her to learn to talk sooner so that she could tell me what it is that she feels or want instead of crying out of nowhere or keep saying nonsense words repeatedly in different situations. I am continuously trying to learn her language by knowing what she means by this and that.
Going through so much research, reading a lot from different Facebook groups, asking all my mom friends, there is so much information that I end up getting confused. Nevertheless, one from those FB groups, one mommy commented on reading a blog from Mum Central, “I May Be Two, But I Still Need You”. A Toddler’s Perspective of How They Really Feel.” The moment I read this blog, it hit me.
The one most important thing that I kept missing in trying to understand my toddler is to put myself in her position. Not just simple empathy, but putting myself to a child’s brain wherein everything I hear, see or touch is new. At this point, my toddler does not know anything, she does not know what mommy is doing, what is she holding, where is she going.
It’s worst than living in a country that has completely different languages and cultures. It’s living a life without a knowledge of anything else and all a child would want is mostly what she needs. She doesn’t understand greed or selfishness yet. She has a purely innocent mind.
Being a busy adult in this busy modern world, we tend to forget to stop and listen carefully to what they really need from you. Most of the time, they just want a hug or more time with you.
And now, every time I get irritated with my child, I try to remember what could be going on in her innocent mind. Now, whenever my baby cries when I leave, I remember how I felt back then whenever my mom used to leave me. That is how she feels now. Every time she does something I don’t understand I get small flashbacks on how I have tried to do the same things and I don’t even know what I was doing or why I was doing those things back then. Maybe not everyone can get those flashbacks; but for me, it starts to make a lot more sense.
Knowing how their mind works, how complicated it could be for them, and how we used to feel the same way; now it will be easier for us to have more patience with them, to understand them better and to be able to connect with them better. I myself is not a perfect mom, but I do my best to at least give her an easier life in the future. As we all know, life is hard as it is and it is up to us how we can make it easier for our children.