Let me start off by saying Being a First Time Mom is hard..
No! Being Mom itself is really hard!
I was married at the age of 22 to my High School Sweetheart and got pregnant and gave birth the following year. Let me give you a brief background of my life… Both of my parents have their own life. They’ve been separated since I was one, I was raised by my grandparents. I either stay on my mum’s parents or my father’s. My grandma (mother’s side) who raised me during my childhood days together with my lolo, passed away when I was eight, my grandpa, just months ago (2019) after I gave birth. My other grandmother, (papa’s side) is in Spain, although my grandfather is always ready to help whenever I need it. I am literally on my own since I was a teen. I secretly got married to my husband year 2017 after 7 years of dating. We’ve been together since 2010.
Move forward… We are currently staying at my husband’s crib with my in-laws in a Barrio (County Set-up). Old people have a lot of sayings when it comes to motherhood or how you are going to raise your child. Each and everyone have their own beliefs. From whether you are going to breastfeed your child or give him formula milk, to whether or not to put baby oil on child’s back when you are bathing him. But you know what? I let my maternal instincts decide. A lot of people will give you tips on how you take care your baby (when I say a lot I mean even those people who doesn’t even have a child).
Let me share few more tips with you on how to rock on
Being a First Time Millennial Mom:
I joined social media groups
This really helps! I learned about other mommies experiences. I share mine as well. Actual community is a big help, yes. But most of the old people are not updated in the news. Our world is different in their time. A lot of pollution and dirt in our surroundings. New viruses and disease are all over places. They also develop not only us. Millennials mommas online may know some of these, that our very own community doesn’t. I became aware of what to do and what to avoid. Especially life-threatening sickness. I watched video tutorials and read articles When I am still pregnant, I watched and searched how to do this and that. I am the one who bathed my newborn baby for the first time, cleaned his navel, and cut his fingernails. These are just a few of the things first time mommas here in my country are afraid to do on their own for the first time. Youtube platform is very helpful in these. And I can say, youtube is the new google nowadays.
I took courage
I have no experience taking care of a baby before. My mother in law is scared as a baby too. My husband don’t wanna touch our fragile baby. My mum is in UAE. I got no choice but to be brave enough to do it by myself. No one will do it for me. And believe it or not, my husband’s cousin gave birth to her second child and even asked me to bath her baby for the first, second and third time! Hahaha.
I talked to my in-laws
I love my in-laws, they love my son! No question about that! But I asked them to let me take over all things especially when it comes to medical things and his food (I make his food). I say what I want and do not want. They respect me and my ways. But of course, I literally explained to them why is it like and why it is not like the way they knew before. As what I’ve said, it is different from their time. We just need to talk and explain to them what’s happening nowadays, the new studies, discoveries and all.
I pamper my self
This is for my own sanity. I am a boy mom, I exclusively breastfeed and also a Working At Home Momma, and it is exhausting for real! I am telling you. And I fortunate enough that my husband supports me in this. Maybe you should ask your partner to let you have some me-time ALONE. No kids no hubby. Go to the mall, buy yourself a good cup of coffee or milk tea, have your nails done, give your hair some treatments. You know, it is healthy for you!
I make sure to have time making love with my husband
Things became different when your baby arrived. As they say it, they were our game changer! And even some of us are working either you are a full-time mom, working mom or working at home mom. We are so busy and most of the time we end up falling asleep because of tiredness. Same goes with our partners as they were working too. And what do we do? We set a schedule when to have sex. And this is for real! I am telling you. It’s like a recharge time for our relationship. And it really works! The connection strengthen and it is a mood booster.
DO NOT listen to all negativities
Yea! People won’t even stop saying sh*$& or whatever to you. Whether you work in a corporate world to maximize your income or to be a stay at home mom, whether you let him play in mud or not, whether you spank him or not… Guess it’s human nature after all. So don’t listen to anyone. And this article? It is nonsense! It is always your way! There is no right procedure, step by step, or correct way on how to be a mom. You are the best in your own way! The moment your child is born, your maternal instinct too! Do not let them scare or create a fear on you on how you take care of your child or your very own family. Your child, your family, your rule!
YOU ARE ROCKING IT MOMMA!
by: Kimberny Anne Salonga