“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”
Way back September 2018 I thought I am only a mother of one, nine-year-old beautiful daughter. There came the month of October and I felt those odd feelings of a pregnant woman again. At first, I was in denial because I was diagnosed with PCOS ( Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome ). Then the symptoms got worsened, and so I decided to have a pregnancy test. I was surprised with the result as I wasn’t expecting, not that I don’t want to have another, but I was thinking I am not ready to have it yet because my work was so exhausting and that it will affect both the baby and I. I had experienced different body pains, severe toothache, vomiting until the fifth month.
Days go by, and in the sixth month of my pregnancy, my obstetrician admitted me due to preeclampsia. Yes, I was horrified, I was afraid of losing my child back then, my mind was full of fears, full of what if’s. Good thing I was admitted to a private hospital and they took good care of me. Then I was thankful we survived, and we got home. But, I still worked because I thought we were OK, I thought I can make it through to full term. But, I was wrong. If only I knew, If only I could turn back time I would have requested an early bed rest.
But then, an inevitable situation came. In the seventh month, my OB wants me to be admitted again for the same reason. This time, when they checked the baby, he has weakened, and so they decided to get me into the emergency Caesarean Section. Things went fast and I heard the baby cry, and then I smiled. I smiled because he cried, I smiled because he fought with me, I smiled because I believe he will survive, and I smiled especially because God gave him to me.
Forty-two days in NICU, yes, those were the days full of worries, full of struggles and sacrifices. He has low birth weight having only 1.140 kilos, was diagnosed with bacterial infections and pneumonia, and received several kinds of antibiotics. But it’s all worth it. When I was there taking good care of him and follow his little milestones, it’s all worth it. All those crazy nights full of tears and prayers, it’s all worth it. All those singing and cuddling when I went back and forth to NICU, it’s all worth it. I cannot contain my happiness when God granted all my prayers when we got home.
Sleepless nights came and dancing and singing. Hard days it is, but yes, I already have embraced the preemie motherhood. Thanks to the doctors, nurses, aunts, brothers and sisters, my husband, and the preemie support group, we were able to survive. He is now seven months old and is getting healthier every day. I know there are still so many things we have to learn together on this journey and we are grateful we have a very supportive loving family.
“Always remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” -A. A. Milne
This is my journey, this is Rodelyn Flores.