Pray. Wonder. Dance.

We were eating our dinner when my water bag broke, the next thing I remember I was in a hospital bed, dressed in a johnny, under a very painful labor. After 2 hours, my baby went to a fetal distress, and my doctor ordered an emergency C-section. Despite of the struggle, she is healthy with an apgar score of 8,9.

Being a first time mom is a challenge, the vast change of routine makes me a little fussier than my little one. I was feisty with my husband, too, but thanks to him he understood and helped me coped. After a few days, I was myself again, and focused on taking care of our new gift.

At first I thought my daughter is just observant, she was not very active, but she does all what other babies do… but a month delayed. Our pediatrician was not bothered too, until our baby shows a jerking movement, it was just 1-2 second jerk, both hands and legs are up at the same time, then maybe 2-3 repetitions. The jerking happens every time she was sleepy or drowsy, it shows many times in a day, and it occurs more often than before. At 6 months old she was diagnosed of epilepsy with global developmental delay, seizure type is infantile spasm developed to focal seizures. My heart sank every time i see her seizure episodes, if only i could take the pain away. Because of frequent seizures and side-effects of the medicine, it affects her development and maybe character, her smile vanished, no more laughter, no more giggles, just plain blank face. Sometimes I asked GOD why this happened to us… but I know HE won`t give us struggles we cannot surpass… and HE is right. After 6 months of looking for the right medicine, she was seizure free at 1 year-old. Thanks to her doctor and teacher(therapist), at two years old, she is achieving her inch-stones. She still cannot stand nor talk, but that is OK… we will reach it, one inch at a time. What is important for now is she smiles again, our baby is back.

Our baby taught me patience, faith and unconditional love. I learned how to control my temperaments. I am praying and hoping that she could be a happy, healthy, wealthy, wise with empathy person. That someday her father and I could share to her all the wisdom we collected from our experiences, and that she could enjoy her life and be generous enough to share it to others. Someday, I know that will happen.

My daughter is a PWD, and we will make it through.

AUTHOR: Rhea I. Llado

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