My expectations of being a mother are quite different from what I have experienced. It is a roller coaster ride of emotions. I experienced joy, excitement, worry, sadness, and fear all at the same time. I remember the time when most of the people around us would always ask when are we going to have a baby. I can’t blame them because four years is like forever especially when you are waiting. I did not mind it at all until my mother asked me about it and assume that there’s something wrong with me. That I should see another doctor and have a second opinion. I wasn’t sure what hurts most – not being able to get pregnant, hearing the things people would say to me, or feeling ashamed that I couldn’t do something so simple, so natural. But It doesn’t stop me from believing that I’m going to be a mother at God’s perfect time.
I can clearly remember that time when my husband was in the hospital and I’m the one looking after him. I was so sleepy that I didn’t get up or open my eyes when the nurse would come in and check on him. The reason for it? I’m already pregnant with our eldest son.
Miracles happen to everyone, everywhere at any time. I’m not excused with the challenges of life as I go through my first pregnancy. I would always be on leave for one week then go to work after for months. Then during my seventh month, I was advised to take a bed rest until I gave birth because of the chances of losing my baby. There are so many questions going on my mind like will my baby be okay? Why is this happening to me? It was one of my lowest points in life. As I struggled with my faith, I was reminded through the verse from Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.” I have prayed about it and surrender all my worries and fears to God.
I realized that our lives will not be free from so many challenges. Everyone will go through it at some point, it is up to us if we will allow it to conquer us or how we will get up when failure comes. We always have a choice.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I know at some point in your life you will go through some challenges. Change is inevitable in this world, we will not always be in our comfort zone. We must have the right armor on this journey we called life.
I pray that as we go through our journey, may we have the strength to keep going, faith to be confident, love to make it possible and joy to have that smile.
P.S. My story about my youngest son will be for another article. He must have his share of the spotlight.